Sunday, March 13, 2016

putting the pieces together

as i've been working this week i've been thinking about all the bits and pieces we have planned for the business.
i know that you've been seeing, feeling and recognizing that something's been up.
i've also eluded to it multiple times.

for me it's been a subtle change.
what you don't know is that i have struggled with mild anxiety (not enough to be on meds, thankfully).
questions constantly pummeled my brain and emotions.
questions like:
are my policies fair?
is my pricing reasonable for the work i provide?
did i offend that person?
was the job done the way the client wanted?
did i do enough?

believe me when i say that these lines of questioning lead to nothing but rottenness.

all i can say is that i feel like i've done a more than adequate job answering those questions for myself.

and the answers to those questions have led us to where we are.
i do struggle though.
i've watched my clients go other places.
*deep sigh*
i'm not going to lie.
that's really hard.
most of the time there's no explanation.
and when i discover it (come one, media is a killer) i *get* to revisit all these lovely questions.
for the four millionth time.
like a checklist.

and then i remind myself of a few things:
1)  God knows what i need.
He provides for me.
ultimately all of it passes through His hands before it reaches me.
and if i can honestly answer all those questions (yes...for the four millionth time) and be okay with the answers then i know He'll work the rest of it out.

2) this business has run my life for too many years.
in part, it made me very sick.
it's okay to not have ALL the work.

3) if i can't provide what these quilters are looking for then it's okay for them to go somewhere else.
i can not be all things for all people.
i can only be who i am.

4)  a happy heather means happy work.
a relaxed heather means joy in the work.
and those two things make for a pleasant experience all around.

by the way, i realize i haven't been particularly funny as of late.
self-deprecation just doesn't seem funny anymore!
i'm rediscovering my sense of humor too.
hang in there with me.
i'm a work in progress!

this week was full of keeping kids on track and planning with D.
that means i didn't get much actual work done.

so here's what i've done.

Becky's National Parks quilt.
quilted with Dusty Miller pantograph and a variegated orange thread.

Barbara's red quilt.
quilted with Denise's Spirals in a light variegated thread.

Carla's spring tree quilt.
quilted with the New Leaf pantograph in a light green variegated thread.

i've also made progress on the UFO i'm working on.
the picture just hasn't made it's way through the chain of command, so to speak.

next week!
hopefully i'll be able to show you a finished quilt top.
wouldn't that be cool??


~ h

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